Face to Face with the Leader in YOU- Part 1

There are many qualities that make leaders great, that become the fodder for popular books, that inspire others to try harder and take leaps of faith. What will people remember about you?

Here are six elements you may want to evaluate:

I had booked a Western Director of a well-known company to come make a presentation at a breakfast meeting. We were minutes from beginning and she hadn’t arrived.  I trusted her competence so waited until the last minute to call and check in if she was on her way. A surprised voice answered the call, a moment of silence, and then the horrified response as she realized she had forgotten the meeting.

Things happen, I usually had a plan B, I promised to call her back later after the meeting was over. She apologized again and I assured her that I understood and would be happy to re-book. She said that I was gracious and when she returned she brought a business book for each attendee as recompense – which was unnecessary, but very welcome. She esteemed me and gave rewards and appreciation for being understood. She made me feel good about myself and I rose to her expectation of me.

Always think the best of others; it is a reflection of yourself.

I remember a lesson with my son. He had been getting into trouble by taking his sisters candy and sometimes money. We would find on his dresser coins or candy wrappers and he would deny ever doing such a thing. Now, he was only six years old and all he knew was that he wanted candy and his sisters had some.

Of course we all ‘felt’ for him, he was so cute and his sisters loved him. But as the leader I saw issues with some poor habits and bad judgement which if left unchecked could develop into worse activity. Dishonesty is a hard trait to reform when lying gets one out of so many imminent consequences.

So I decided that I would take all four children to the store and give them a few dollars to buy an assortment of whatever treats they would like. When we got home I had them all sit around our table and explained to Vince that it was not ok to ever take someone else candy, money or anything. It is lying, not fair and also makes the others feel very upset. I asked him to display all his candy on the table and then told the girls they were all to take whatever they liked as it was Vince’s turn to meet the consequences of his actions. They were horrified! One by one they chose a candy and each time another tear rolled down his face. Finally his candy was all gone – and the girls were just beside themselves feeling like they were torturing their brother! They could hardly do it!

That was a hard lesson to make happen. If I had just been concerned with immediate comfort and someone’s feelings at the moment I couldn’t have done it. But as a leader you must look to the future and how the actions from today will influence the decisions of tomorrow. Leaders do what others cannot or will not.

Leaders are not afraid of immediate discomfort. They are motivated by future triumphs!

The opposite.

Have you ever been around someone who represented to you the opposite of what you desired to be around , work for, or socialize with? Of course, we all have! As the saying goes –“ it’s hard to soar with the eagles when you work with a bunch of turkeys.”

In being aware of the wonderful qualities you want to emulate, it’s also important to also be conscious of what not to do. It is well known that in our motivation lies the determination to either move away from something or towards something, they are equally powerful. One lady that hired me gave me a world of  less than desirable examples I needed to move far away from!

At a coffee meeting this leader offered me an awesome position doing exactly what I loved to do. She was gifted at wooing. I fell in love.

Within 6 weeks of my new career I couldn’t deny what I was seeing around me. The ‘ideal job’ was only a cover for what she intended for me to do, she was big in talk but opposite in action. Unfilled promises lead to disappointment. The business could not move forward, even though she was in the position to turn the ship around she chose not to listen. In my opinion she was motivated by self-preservation and safety.

“The desire for safety stands against every great & noble enterprise” Tacitus

Napolean Bonaparte said true Leaders are ‘Dealers in Hope’. If you are working in a company with no hope of improvement, growth, validation you lose your energy. As the good book says:

Hope deferred makes the heart sick.

What are the experiences in your past life and work that effect how you behave in the world?  For better or for worse, there is a saying – “I never lose, either I win, or I learn”.

(Part 1 of 2 – Continued here…)